Kim Kardashian is eating small portions of her placenta every day as part of a Satanic illuminati ritual, according to North West’s former nanny.
Nancy Jenkinson was hired by the Kardashian/West household after training as a midwife in London and working for the English Royal family. She lasted just under six months in the celebrity household before being fired.
Nancy claims she overheard Kim speaking to her sister Khloe about her plan to consume the placenta.
“I heard her planning this over a month ago. Khloe seemed confused and slightly weirded out by the details until Kim told her that it was a way of asserting dominance over the baby. And I kind of understand why she’d want to do that now, because sometimes this baby looks completely TERRIFYING. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the baby looks cute and nice, but at other times he barely looks human.”
When asked what Kanye thought about Kim eating her placenta, Nancy said that he was cool with it. Apparently his own mother ate her placenta and Kanye has been heard bragging that “My momma’s placenta was the best tasting and most nutritious placenta in history.”
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) December 14, 2015
Whether Kanye is aware of Kim’s dark witch ritual remains open to speculation, however. Nancy believes he might be oblivious.
“Kanye is a real sweetheart,” she said. “He’s happiest when he’s in the house designing water bottles, leather jogging pants, or obsessing over other people’s designs. The first time I met him he was holding up a towel and ranting passionately about how he wishes he invented it – the towel is such a flawless design. I won’t hear a bad word said about Kanye.“
But Nancy fears Kim is leading Kanye down a dark path.
“All this talk of Kanye running for president… He wasn’t interested in politics at all until Kim started mind controlling him. I don’t want to say too much about that right now. I’m going to talk more about it in my book.”
That’s right, Nancy Jenkinson is writing a tell-all tome about her time in the celebrity household, joining the likes of Pam Behan as a former Kardashian nanny who has come forward to spill the beans on her former employers.
“I’m just glad to be out of that place,” she said. “I was beginning to fear for my safety. They have a jackal that has been given run of the house. Sometimes I think the jackal is actually the man of the house. That jackal is TERRIFYING. When you look into his eyes you can see he would kill a man, woman, or child with as little concern as I’d have swatting a fly.”
“And I don’t mean to be crude, but this jackal is HUNG. Maybe that is why Kanye seems jealous of him when Kim is around. Kim got Kanye to design the jackal a beautiful art nouveau brass and nickel bed for the jackal to sleep in, but the jackal prefers sleeping at the foot of Kim and Kanye’s bed, so Kanye designed him a beautiful natural finish wood kennel with rococo trimmings. Kanye is so talented, he really is.”
“I’m just glad to be home with my cats again. That jackal was giving me such bad vibes. The only house guest he likes is Jay-Z. I don’t know what that is about. He jumps up on Jay’s thighs and licks his hands. Everyone else gets barked at in this TERRIFYING high-pitched demonic squeal. Kim seems to find it funny but it used to give me a pounding headache.“
Nancy seemed more positive when asked how her tell-all book is coming along.
“So far, so good,” she enthused. “Right now I’ve got about 463 pretty solid pages in the can, with probably another 200 or so to go. Once that’s done it’ll just be a matter of double checking the facts, tightening up the writing, and making sure it’s got a nice flow.”
Though reluctant to reveal details about the book, Nancy said it reveals the “whole and real truth” about a master plan by Kardashian, the Illuminati, world governments and multinational corporations to mind control and enslave all of humanity through the use of covert artificial-intelligence and ancient witchcraft.
“I learnt so much during my time in that household. So much dark, disturbing stuff. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know this stuff. But now that I have been enlightened I feel duty bound to share it with the world,” Nancy said.
But is it just sour grapes on her part? Nancy Jenkinson was fired, after all.
“Absolutely not. I took it as a compliment. Getting fired, I mean. Let me explain. Basically Kim was jealous of my ass. That’s right.”
Kim Kardashian, owner of the world’s most famous derrière, was jealous of Nancy Jenkinson’s ass?
“Yeah look, I’m not as famous as her, but I have a really nice ass, if I may say so myself. Once I was on a Tinder date and there was no spark between us so I cut it short but when I was walking away from this guy he texted me saying ‘OMG I just noticed you have the PERFECT ass! Come back! Forgive me for not falling in love with your face or conversation.’“
The book is due to be published at the end of Fall, with the New York Times, Washington Post and YourNewsWire reportedly interested in serialising extracts in the lead up to publication.