Silicon Valley Turn To Witchcraft To Exorcise Computer Viruses

Top computer experts are apparently turning to witchcraft in order to rid their devices of ‘demons’, as executives who work for Silicon Valley giants such as Salesforce, Facebook, and Apple seek mystical help for their otherwise conventional computer problems. 

A Wiccan named Reverend Joey Talley claims to have over 40 years experience in solving supernatural computer problems, and is routinely called upon to help respected computer guru’s exorcise the demons residing in their computers. reports:

Talley is one of those mystics, a Marin County witch boasting three master’s degrees and over 40 years of experience. Though tech problems are not the only ones Talley tackles, she is routinely called upon to debug people’s tech woes with spiritual energy.

“Most people want me to protect their computers from viruses and hacks,” she told SF Weekly. “So I’ll make charms for them. I like to use flora.” And when there are problems in office hardware, Talley turns to “Jet,” a black stone that serves to block energy. In extreme cases, she casts protection spells of her own over the entire company.

Talley recounts one particular tale to SF Weekly, when a startup’s office alarm would blare at all hours of the day, and no one knew why. After multiple electricians (the “rational” choice) completely failed to solve the problem, the company called in Talley.

“I got the spirit out,” she told SF Weekly.

Talley’s website says she welcomes issues too unusual or dangerous to take the the straight world of Western helpers. But she also says no problem is too big or small, even, perhaps, your printer malfunctioning. However before you jump on the phone, you should be aware that Talley’s services do not come cheap. She charges $200 an hour (though a phone consultation is free).

Watch a video of her introducing the Wicca Way below: