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Hillary’s Body Double Hired For Instances Of Ill-Health

Hillary's body double is rumored to be her 'healthy lookalike'

Reliable sources have said that Hillary Clinton hired a healthy body double to make public appearances in situations where the Democratic nominee suffers ill-health.

The lookalike was seen emerging from Hillary’s daughter Chelsea’s apartment in New York after suffering a bout of Pneumonia last week. However, the ‘Hillary’ that left the apartment appeared much more vibrant than the Hillary that had entered only moments before.

Torontosun.com reports:

If you think I’m making this up, let me quote USA Today: “Some say the differences lie in the details: Cheekbones, smooth versus wrinkled skin and body composition.”

Her index finger seemed longer, her earlobes bigger, her nose flatter, her legs skinnier. Plus, why did “Hillary” stoop to hug a child if she had contagious pneumonia? Where was the security detail? Did they fly off with Amelia Earhart?

Just when you thought the American presidential campaign could not get nuttier — though if you watched CNN’s blanket coverage of Dr. Oz reviewing Donald Trump’s medical report, you know it has not yet bottomed out.

A Clinton body double? Baloney! Or is it?

Stand-ins are hardly unknown in public life, or even to the Clintons. In my Sun editor days, we put Bill doopleganger Tim Watters in Blue Jays garb on the front page, in mock celebration of the Jays back-to-back World Series titles.

Saddam Hussein reportedly had a double, a very nervous one. So did Joe Stalin, the Soviet strongman.

Field Marshal Bernard “Monty” Montgomery, Britain’s top soldier in the Second World War, had a lookalike. Lieut. M. E. Clifton James busily attended public appearances as Monty to confuse the Germans.

John Tory appears to have someone performing the same task, in a bid to confuse Doug Ford.

Henry Kissinger and Fidel Castro are among others reputed to have employed doubles.

So why not Hillary? Suspicions soared when longtime Clinton impersonator Teresa Barnwell, a staple at corporate parties and on TV commercials, hinted she was indeed in New York City on the weekend when Hillary, 68, had her meltdown. Alas, Ms Barnwell later tweeted: “OK people, calm down. I was in LA … just messin’ with your crazy conspiracy minded little heads. Go to bed.”

Good advice, actually. This American election campaign is especially tiring, and tiresome, for all of us. The candidates must be tempted to use stand-ins. Politics is demanding up here, too.

For instance, who would blame Justin Trudeau for sending a lookalike into all those boxing rings to puff his chest and flex his pecs. It would be so much easier than working out and eating right.

Is that really Premier Kathleen Wynne running miles and miles on Ontario back roads, or is Orville Redenbacher’s twin sister moonlighting?

Surely that’s not opposition leader Patrick Brown putting his foot in his mouth. By now the PCs must have hired an actor to do that, someone who also resembles Tim Hudak, Tory and Ernie Eves. That’s a lot of feet to stand in for.

Back in the U.S.A., I bet Donald Trump has a double. Any 70-year-old running for president needs one. I wonder if Willy Wonka is missing any Oompa-Loompas.

I could have sworn one of those orange fellas was standing in for Trump at a rally in Ohio the other day. He was shaking hands, kissing babies and posing for a selfie with Jimmy Hoffa.