Beyoncé’s legions of fans were dealt a devastating blow when the Single Ladies singer was caught shapeshifting into a reptilian at Serena Williams’ wedding ceremony on Saturday.
Beyoncé attended the Beauty and the Beast-themed nuptials of tennis icon Williams’ and Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian in New Orleans, and a security guard explains he initially thought “Beyonce’s horror show” was “some kind of high-end gimmick she was pulling out her ass to entertain her fellow celebs.”
“I thought she was riffing on some kind of Beauty and the Beast thing. You know, going from her usual pretty self to the most horrific looking short, pudgy creature covered in scales and greasy feathers and shit.”
But then the security guard realized Beyoncé was engaged in a bout of shapeshifting. The transitions between human and reptilian form seemed to be out of her control.
“She was panicking as everybody started looking at her. It became clear it wasn’t some kind of avant-garde performance. She was under five foot tall, pudgy, covered in greasy feathers and scales.“
“She gave off a real mean demeanor, like she’d tear your flesh, rip your face off if you gave her half a chance. Some people were gasping and horrified, others tried to cover for her, creating distractions and stuff.“
Claiming the experience was “no big deal” because he “meets reptilians all the time in my line of work“, the security guard-to-the-stars explained that “Beyoncé was one of the not-so-nice ones. Cold and calculating. A real bitch of a reptile.”
Waiter describes sick experience with reptilian Beyoncé
The security guard’s account of Beyoncé’s shapeshifting was backed up by a member of the waitstaff, who tweeted about his disturbing experience with Beyoncé in her reptilian form.
“I was taking a crap after eating some unhygienic Mexican food before the concert, and Beyoncé opened the door of the cubicle then crawled towards me and sucked me off on the toilet.”
“She was saying ‘you have devils in your dick, demons in your semen’…”
“I could hardly get it up because I’m a very recent post-op transexual, but Beyoncé seemed extremely aroused.”
The waiter’s tweets have since been deleted from Twitter, a social media network that takes a zero tolerance approach to members of the public naming and shaming reptilians.
Reptilians have an enormous amount of control in the United States in 2017.
The bestiality of reptilians
While the bestiality of reptilians belongs to no nationality or country, they have gained a foothold in America and Western Europe. The Nazi elite were reptilians, just as the American elite are beasts today. Like the Belgian monarchy, the French colonialists, the British royals, and some of the world’s most successful business people and entertainers, reptilianism in its very essence has invaded the top tier of humanity and is turning humans into blood-thirsty beasts.
You cannot trust reptilians. Not for a minute.
Under the United Nations flag they are wreaking havoc around the world. Under the United States flag they have usurped positions of power in politics, business, and entertainment. They are determined to enslave the human race. We are cattle to be herded and slaughtered.
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