Beyoncé Caught Shapeshifting In Front Of Celebs At Serena Williams’ Wedding

Beyoncé's legions of fans were dealt a devastating blow when the Single Ladies singer was caught shapeshifting into a reptilian at Serena Williams' wedding ceremony on Saturday.

Beyoncé’s legions of fans were dealt a devastating blow when the Single Ladies singer was caught shapeshifting into a reptilian at Serena Williams’ wedding ceremony on Saturday.

Beyoncé attended the Beauty and the Beast-themed nuptials of tennis icon Williams’ and Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian in New Orleans, and a security guard explains he initially thought “Beyonce’s horror show” was “some kind of high-end gimmick she was pulling out her ass to entertain her fellow celebs.”

I thought she was riffing on some kind of Beauty and the Beast thing. You know, going from her usual pretty self to the most horrific looking short, pudgy creature covered in scales and greasy feathers and shit.”

But then the security guard realized Beyoncé was engaged in a bout of shapeshifting. The transitions between human and reptilian form seemed to be out of her control.

She was panicking as everybody started looking at her. It became clear it wasn’t some kind of avant-garde performance. She was under five foot tall, pudgy, covered in greasy feathers and scales.

She gave off a real mean demeanor, like she’d tear your flesh, rip your face off if you gave her half a chance. Some people were gasping and horrified, others tried to cover for her, creating distractions and stuff.

Claiming the experience was “no big deal” because he “meets reptilians all the time in my line of work“, the security guard-to-the-stars explained that “Beyoncé was one of the not-so-nice ones. Cold and calculating. A real bitch of a reptile.”

Waiter describes sick experience with reptilian Beyoncé

The security guard’s account of Beyoncé’s shapeshifting was backed up by a member of the waitstaff, who tweeted about his disturbing experience with Beyoncé in her reptilian form.

“I was taking a crap after eating some unhygienic Mexican food before the concert, and Beyoncé opened the door of the cubicle then crawled towards me and sucked me off on the toilet.”

“She was saying ‘you have devils in your dick, demons in your semen’…”

“I could hardly get it up because I’m a very recent post-op transexual, but Beyoncé seemed extremely aroused.”

The waiter’s tweets have since been deleted from Twitter, a social media network that takes a zero tolerance approach to members of the public naming and shaming reptilians.

Reptilians have an enormous amount of control in the United States in 2017.

The bestiality of reptilians

While the bestiality of reptilians belongs to no nationality or country, they have gained a foothold in America and Western Europe. The Nazi elite were reptilians, just as the American elite are beasts today. Like the Belgian monarchy, the French colonialists, the British royals, and some of the world’s most successful business people and entertainers, reptilianism in its very essence has invaded the top tier of humanity and is turning humans into blood-thirsty beasts.

You cannot trust reptilians. Not for a minute.

Under the United Nations flag they are wreaking havoc around the world. Under the United States flag they have usurped positions of power in politics, business, and entertainment. They are determined to enslave the human race. We are cattle to be herded and slaughtered.

Baxter Dmitry

Baxter Dmitry

Baxter Dmitry is a writer at Your News Wire. He covers politics, business and entertainment. Speaking truth to power since he learned to talk, Baxter has travelled in over 80 countries and won arguments in every single one. Live without fear.
Email: baxter@yournewswire.com
Follow: @baxter_dmitry
Baxter Dmitry
  • Val Valerian

    Interesting that no one can ever come up with an unedited video ….

    • Mister E

      phones are told to be handed in at these events, and if you are found to record? well. you may not make it home, ever

  • Black Swan

    It shapeshifted from a male to a she male many years ago.

  • Fredflintstone

    I shape shift every morning…… no, wait a minute…. that’s just morning wood!!!!

  • Vox Populi

    WTF!….

  • suzie

    Stupid. Nobody believes

  • Ron Burgundy

    “I was taking a crap after eating some unhygienic Mexican food before the concert, and Beyoncé opened the door of the cubicle then crawled towards me and sucked me off on the toilet.”
    and if that wasn’t enough: “I could hardly get it up because I’m a very recent post-op transexual, but Beyoncé seemed extremely aroused.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you cant post this shite and be expected to be taking seriously as a news outlet! Please do provide us the details of this transsexual who was sexually assaulted by a reptilian Beyonce!

  • Godzilla17

    Yet another mermaid type story!! Can I take any newswire story seriously when I read this rubbish?

  • Eric Arshol

    They ripped off “there’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen”

    From the red hot chili peppers song

    Sir Psycho Sexy

    Off the album bloodsugarsexmagick

    Nice try.I am sure Beyonce is just going around quoting 1991 Chili Peppers lyrics while she blows people while they take a dump.

  • Faith, Hope and Love abide

    FAKE NEWS

  • GatoAtomico

    …..What? Is not a joke?

  • fishing4truth

    Gee… too bad no one had the presence of mind to pull out their cell phone and record this event.